September 5, 1993
Okay, so the show was a total nightmare.
At first it was cool, I crimped my hair and really looked the rocker girl part. I wore red lipstick, black eye-liner, my favourite maroon and purple plaid shirt, black jeans and my 8-hole burgundy docs. I was stylin.
We all met at Min’s before the show because she was driving. We knew we wouldn’t be able to buy any alcohol at the bar, so we did a bit of pre-drinking. I brought a bottle of vodka over from my mom’s stash and Min’s parents always have liquor in their basement fridge. They picked some sort of peach schnapps that smelled absolutely horrid to me. I stuck with vodka and orange juice. I only made one drink though, I was sort of feeling a bit gross, I think it was just my nerves.
So we get there and the place is dead. We realize we are super early and Mark’s band is just setting up on stage. It was 8 o’clock, but the show didn’t start until 9pm. We thought there would at least be some people there already. Though I was kinda glad I got to see the sound check. It was funny listening to them check all the mics and guitars.
We played video games for awhile. They had a little arcade off to the side of the bar. We played Mortal Combat II. I kicked everyone’s ass, obviously.
By 8:45 people started showing up. Mark asked us to sit at the door and get cover from everyone. We did it for like 10 minutes before the bartender guy said we were too young to be sitting there. Some of the older guys in one of the other bands took over for us.
At 9:30, Brain Stem still hadn’t played, but they were about to. We got a table closest to the stage but towards the right hand side. There was an area left clear, like a dance floor, right in-front of the stage for people who wanted to mosh or dance or whatever. No one was standing there, people were all sitting down or standing around the bar at the back or by the pool tables.
There had been no sign of Dylan or his friends. I was a bit disappointed but I didn’t let it bother me. I was having fun.
In an instant, my good time transformed into agonizing torture. I saw Casey first. As soon as I saw him, my heart dropped. My hands starting shaking and I turned around and stared at the stage, refusing to look behind me. I leaned over to Min.
“Please don’t tell me that asshole just walked in the door.” Min looked back and scanned the bar. She frowned and put her hand on my shoulder.
“We’ll keep you safe. Don’t even worry about it. He won’t try to come and talk to you. If he does, we’re here.”
Then Parker comes back from the wash room and sits next to me. “Dylan and his friends are here, but they are with other chicks.”
That made me swing my head around. God, no! I thought. How is this happening??
First of all, asshole showing up completely infuriated me. Not only would he be smart enough to know that I’d be there, he was dumb enough to think that I would actually want to see him. Just looking at the back of his head while he stood around the pool tables was enough to send me into hysterics.
Then I see Dylan. He’s with Chris and Rog and three other girls. They were super pretty, and all done up in clubbing outfits. For the type of show they were at, they sort of stood out. They walked up to the bar and stood waiting for the bartender to take their order. That’s when Dylan and I made eye contact.
I could tell right away that he didn’t want me coming over to him. He half smiled and me and then looked at his girlfriend to make sure she wasn’t looking and then he quickly raised his hand to wave. Like, what the fuck?
Are all guys complete assholes? Or just the ones I happen to like?
He looked all shifty. When they got their drinks, I could tell he was looking for somewhere to sit that wasn’t near us.
I look over at the other asshole and he is now completely staring me down. The look of intensity on his face was actually jarring. I held his gaze for only a moment until I gave him the finger. He rolled his eyes and turned away, shaking his head.
I look back over and Dylan and he apparently witnessed the whole exchange. He sort of scrunched up his lips and mouthed “sorry” to me.
“Let’s sit up front! I want to be close.” One of the girls he was with said. I didn’t think it was his girlfriend. She was sort of thin and lanky, but had a gentle face. His girlfriend, although very pretty, looked like she took no shit from anyone. The way her eyes scanned the crowd and she looked like she was ready to throw down with anyone who starred at her the wrong way. He hair was really curly and long, and it looked like she lightened it a rusty red colour.
“Nah, let’s sit farther back, it’ll be too loud.” I heard Dylan say.
Yeah that’s right fucker. Steer clear.
“Loud is good fool!” The two girls giggled but his girlfriend just smirked and walked over to the table that was directly behind us.
Mark’s band started to play. They opened with a cover by Screaming Trees. I was so pissed off, I couldn’t even enjoy it and I really like that song. I just sat there, refusing to look behind me. I stared and watched Mark sing and Dave play the guitar. I zoned out on Rico playing the drums. I tapped my foot.
They played a couple of their own songs next. They were catchy, but I don’t really remember the titles. When they broke into Killing in the Name by RATM the girls Dylan and his friends were with got up and starting jumping around on the stage and dancing. Other people got up too and some of the guys started moshing. The girls were trying to mosh, I could hear Dylan and his friends laughing at them. I turned around to peak and Dylan looked over at me. He was a knock-out.
The way he was laughing and smiling, he looked so god damn gorgeous. He shook his head at me like he was saying he couldn’t believe he was there with those girls. I couldn’t help but smile back. When the song was over, the girls didn’t return right to their table. They must have decided to go to the bathroom.
“Sadie!” I heard him call my name, but I pretended I didn’t. “Sadie!” Ugh.
I turn around and and stare at him.
“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t think she would want to come. I tried to have a guys night, but they just sort of tagged along.”
“You don’t owe me an explanation, you can do whatever you want. I’m glad you guys came.” I falshed a fake smile and turned back around.
“Sadie!” Min, being the true friend she is, starts whispering in my ear.
“Hey, I’m whispering in your ear to make it seem like I have something really funny to say about Dylan. Start laughing.” She starts laughing, which makes me laugh. I look over at Dylan who has a defeated look on his face.
“Sadie!” He yells anyway.
“What?!” I turn around and just as I do, his girlfriend walks up right behind him. She looks at me with a scowl and then crosses her arms and looks down at Dylan. He eyes are bulging out of his head.
“Who’s this? You know her?”
“Yeah, she was the one who invited us.”
“Oh really.” Now I get the death stare.
“Why you invite him? You know him?” She has to practically yell this because Mark’s band is still playing on stage.
Now it’s my turn for my eyes to bulge. I open my mouth to say something and before I do, Rog opens his big fat mouth and blurts out, “they used to date!”
Dylan has now lowered his head but is actually still smiling and I’m sitting there panicking, not knowing if this girl is going to jump me or what.
“You used to date that?” She looks me up and down like I’m some disgusting creature from outer space. I open my mouth wider thinking, wow there is no way I should have to put up with this. I look at Dylan, waiting for him to defend me or say something, anything.
What does he say!?
“She looked different back then.”
I stood up and walked away.
“Where you goin’ goth girl? Where you goin’?” Ok, I am so not goth. I just shook my head and kept walking. Little did I know that I now have a train of people following me. Dylan’s girl and her two sidekicks, then Dylan and his friends and then Parker and Min.
I look behind me and see Parker run up to the bartender. She must have told him that she thought I was going to get my ass kicked or something.
“Michelle, stop! Leave it alone Mich, let’s just go.”
“What? I need to talk to the bitch is all. Clarify things.”
I get to the back by the bar there were tons of people, so I had to kind of squeeze my way past all these dudes. I knew there was security by the door now, so I was trying to get past the pool tables and arcade and head towards the exit.
I work my way around everybody only to slam into someone shooting pool. Guess who it was I bumped into?