Companionship

There’s something scary
About being alone
Not for the time being
But for the long haul

Once it is lost
Its absence consumes
It’s needed like blood in our veins

People have killed over it
Others have died for it
I’m still trying to let it go

But it’s scary here
Being alone
By myself
… with me
… and I

without you

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Neurotic Voices

I need to know, if
when you hear my voice
all you can think about are ways
to have me thrown away
Or, when you hear my voice,
do you think about ropes or chains
or something long and easy to handle
to wrap me around in and
pull me closer to you

When I hear your voice
I think about nothing, except
how I can get your voice and my voice
together alone
to talk over what makes us say the things we say
Then maybe our minds
won’t have to worry so much
about what we mean
behind our words
under our voices
inside our heads

Then maybe I could concentrate
On something more important than your voice
Like if you thought my voice was that important too
But if we had already talked
I would know
Unless you lied to me

But Still, I’d rather 

Rediscovering timelessness

and endless feelings, 

an ancient youth hoping to be saved. 

Years of innocence and understanding, 

broken by guilt and accusations. 
Where are the simple times? 

Where are the sleepovers and double dares of our past,

when Spin the bottle was a favourite pastime?

What happened to the boys who were satisfied with a slow dance?

When did we invite the lies and deception to the party?

Where are the boys who were too embarrassed to hold our hands?
I can tell you where they are!

Grown into mature young men 

with a deep yearning for fornication. 

Us, young mature women feeling sexual and sensuous, 

allowing ourselves to participate in the violent act of love, 

willingly and happily. 
What would our kindergarten teacher say? 

You know, the one who caught us in the sandbox trying to look down each others pants. 

That’s where it all started, 

impulse-ating and mutating us into these creatures. 

These, these…. Teenagers.
We could look at it this way, 

we’re only this age once, right? 

So forget about your kindergarten teacher. 

Go fornicate in the streets! 

Forget lies and that girl in your class who would tell the whole school what you were doing in five minutes. 

Forget guilt! 

Forget sin! 

Sins are for those with a conscience, 

a conscience is for those with a mind. 

Forget your mind! 

Hedonists of the world, practice your faith! 

Live with us in our pleasure. 

Drop the “my-dad-won’t-let-me, my-dad-would-kill-me” act. 

Be free!

But… then back comes the guilt, 

and your mind returns and your conscience kicks in and you think

 – well, I wouldn’t want the whole school to think that maybe one of us mature young women could be a little different.

So you stick with your poems or your paints or your music.

Saying ‘no’ does have its privileges, right?

Lust 

Stinky love

I crave your rotten smell

The aroma of your putrid stench

Makes me drunk with desire

Like spinning on wine

Useless
Tie me to the bed post please

Pull my hair

Yeah, grab it

Leave me hot

Wanting more
Crazy love
Steaming up through me

it never burns, never scars

Though sometimes fades

I watch it slowly slip away

Wicked love

Why?

Variables

Inconsistency

The delicacy of a dream

crawling through vines
planted a decade ago

Searching for roots
to dig up and re-sow

Always getting lost
in someone else’s garden

someone else’s truth

Finding only thorns
that pierce my skin

that make me scream

I lay down in your green tomb

its poisonous pink pedals
all I can see

Sedating me

Surrounding me

Daring me to wake up

Too strange

Too strange is the myth
that comes upon you
sending you into mockery
with the lonely scarce souls
who envy your wit

Let them loathe it

Eager is their pain
which condemns their eternity
and breaks the shackles of their dreams

You and I were the sun and moon
slowly circling for a chance to embrace

You were brave to conceal me
in your time of darkness
and my time of sorrow

Each journey through
enchanted nights
and days of cold

and deathly hardships
brought about your touch

your smile

your eagerness

Now, I only hope to free my hands
which have moulded stiffly to your heart
to send me to the paleness of the stars
where I’ll hide from you

I was never certain
of the obstacles you faced
or if you did it all for me
or some acquitted love
acquainted and conveyed to treachery

Anchored chains keep me locked
hidden in the stars
as you seek some other maiden
with dryer eyes and weaker heart

I say to you as you flee

Let me not find you and a knife
together alone
For I have long planned
what will become of you
when steal bites a hole.

No Control

I’ve been mystified and
captured by the thought of life alone

this terrible wreckage sinks
to the bottom of my soul

it weighs me down

paralyzes my ability to decipher
right from wrong

a cold wind blasts away my essence

my scent evaporates

I can’t find my place

My home has become an open field

carved out in the middle is my cave

that bottomless pit where I hide

no doors to keep the predators out

so I greet them

I say hello and welcome them
to my dark existence

bad company is better than none

~ and don’t you judge me

you’ve given up that place among my stars

my sky has clouded over
and filled with tears

it overflows the lakes around me
so I tread in haste

searching for my shore
my cave

I need to hide

But I have no control of these waves

the tide is moving in now
I’m one with its flow

my anchor has been lifted
and stolen away

I still cry out to you
but you don’t want to hear

your memory fades
our past becomes a dream

~ let me float away

Into those pirate’s hands I go

seduced by the treasure they can offer me

and the pleasure of their sails

the fact that they want property
and I am up for sale

cause I was returned to sender

didn’t quite fit you and your style

relinquished and used up

my heaven sits now too far out of reach

so        I          d   r   i    f    t

up
and

down

and farther

away

from  you