All Up in the Air

Life is never certain
It's won the gold in unpredictable.
Curiously we have no control 
except in the decisions we make,
what choices we chose and all the in between.
We make hundreds of choices a day,
each leads us to a different path; big or small,
dangerous or safe, long or short.
Those who choose to let others make decisions for them;
these are the weak, these are the fearful.
Those who look outside themselves for the answers;
these are the meek, these are the powerless.
For power resides in us all.
It's up to us to recognize it and use it wisely,
use it strongly,
use it faithfully.
We are life and experience,
with or without pain, sadness,
or euphoria.
Wake up, be mindful.
Don't fall into a pit of slack and robotic habit.
Don't waste time on the frivolous or the unconcerned.
Don't let the power slip away. 

Be you.
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Late Night

I’m thinking deep
It rolls around on my tongue in waves
Dangerously

How long can I keep this smile
I wish I could wrap it up and send it to you
There are so many impossible things I wish I could do for you
With you
To you
Deeply

Impossibilities get me down
But tonight I’ve got that vibe
Where everything seems reachable
Where you are almost kissable
Almost

And that’s all the security I need
To fall asleep and beautifully dream
About the time I wish I had with you

Leftovers

I’m low
I’ve sunk deep
into this liquid lava heartache
Feeling gutted
ripped open and torn out
Left to rot
Like a fish on the beach
or a squirrel on the street
Road kill
My murderer; my best friend
A partnership betrayed
A love deceived
unreceived
It always takes two in the end
One to run and
One to let go

What is this stress I feel?

What is this stress I feel?

What is this mood I’m in?

For so long I’ve been vacant and unattached

And now I smile at crying children and puppy dogs

I laugh at my lateness

and shrug off my sleepless nights

And I’m writing

I can write through endless unknown thoughts

asking myself why now and why him

I can see beauty in lust and longing for attention

I can see him clear as day

and feel him inside me;

What is this stress I feel?

This nagging feeling to communicate with a no-win situation

I’m not lonely, I’m not sad

But Oh God, how wonderful it felt

how consuming he was

Enough to make me wet still through memories

and hopes of things to come

And I’m hoping almost desperately

sitting on the edge of my seat

daring myself to dive in;

What are these songs in my head?

Who sings to me and tells me not to let go?

how could i release such pleasurable possibilities

 why would I even want to close this door?

But somehow I’m scared of whats inside

It’s waiting there like a ticking paper lunch bag

But I grab for it anyway

There could be cake inside

or chocolate and whip cream

There could be marbles and movies

or laughter and no strings

Do you know how wonderful that would be?

But it could just be empty

and only because I’ve realized

I’d already tasted what’s inside

But I’m not lonely

I’m not sad

I just want more

I’m hungry

Conundrum

Are we all liars?
Do we all speak in riddles?
Or hide behind hints?
Are we all sugar coating our reasons why?
Or dipping our becauses in chocolate?
Do we all keep those shameful when’s
Or right nows?
Because I’m tired of it
I want the scoop
I want the low down
The dirty and nasty or plain regretful
I want my pain to glow until it shines
I want my stupidity plastered up on every wall
Cause we’ve all failed
We’ve all been disappointed
I’m ready to swim in Misery’s pool
And laugh at my tears
Because they can’t wear me down
These lies make me stronger
This hurt makes me vibrant
Because it’s not all who I am
We’re so much more than past mistakes
We’ve out grown Desire and moved on to Truth
We’ve let go of hope and moved on to respect
Yet nothing changes
No fireworks pop
No final marks in red ink
Who’s judging this contest?
Have I moved ahead?
Am I still afraid?
Do I speak in riddles?
Or hide behind hints?
Am I the liar?
Or are you?